In this episode of Notice That: An EMDR Podcast, we sit down with internationally respected clinician, trainer, and author Deb Wesselmann to explore the powerful intersection of EMDR therapy, attachment wounds, childhood trauma, parenting, and relational healing.
Deb shares her decades of experience integrating attachment theory with EMDR therapy, including practical ways therapists can work with children, parents, families, and adults carrying unresolved developmental trauma.
We discuss:
Deb also shares stories from training with Francine Shapiro in the early days of EMDR and how the field has evolved over time.
If you're an EMDR therapist, trauma therapist, counselor, psychologist, or simply fascinated by healing relationships, this conversation is packed with wisdom.
Learn more about Deb Wesselmann through her website: https://debrawesselmann.com/
Learn more about training and professional development opportunities with Beyond Healing through our website: connectbeyondhealing.com
DETAILED SHOW NOTES
Introduction
Bridger and Jen open the episode by discussing their upcoming EMDR Basic Trainings, hybrid learning model, consultation opportunities, and their emphasis on relationship-centered EMDR training.
Meet Deb Wesselmann
Deb shares her background as:
Her journey into therapy began through witnessing the unmet emotional needs of children in school settings.
Early EMDR with Francine Shapiro
Deb reflects on training directly with Francine Shapiro when EMDR was still considered “experimental.”
She discusses:
Why Attachment and EMDR Fit So Well
Deb explains how EMDR naturally supports attachment healing because it helps process:
She emphasizes that attachment styles are shaped through experience—not fixed identity.
What Didn’t Happen Matters Too
One of the most powerful moments of the episode:
Healing is not only about processing what happened to clients...
It is also about grieving and repairing what never happened:
Parts Work / Ego States in EMDR
Deb and the hosts discuss:
They explore how parts work deepens EMDR treatment, especially with complex trauma.
Deb’s Integrative Family EMDR Model
Deb outlines her step-by-step model for working with children and families:
Phase 1:
Parent psychoeducation and case conceptualization
Helping parents understand:
Phase 2:
Family preparation and regulation work
Including:
Phase 3:
Attachment-focused EMDR resourcing
Examples:
When Parents Are the Barrier
Deb speaks honestly about difficult cases where caregivers are emotionally unsafe, resistant, or abusive.
The hosts discuss how therapists may need to pivot toward:
The Therapist as Attachment Resource
A major theme of the conversation:
The therapeutic relationship itself becomes healing data.
Bridger discusses inviting clients to:
“Take my voice with you.”
Meaning:
This is a beautiful section for therapists working with complex trauma.
Why This Episode Matters
This conversation reminds us that EMDR is not merely protocol.
It is also: